before blaming others, think: whats the 1 constant in all your failed relationships? its that cursed egyptian amulet why do u even have that
A friend of mine just messaged me saying “I fucked up. I was doing math with my son, and I told him to ‘hold up eleven fingers’ and he started to panic and I didn’t realize why until he screamed ‘MOM…MOM I ONLY HAVE TEN”
*likes your answered ask but not in an “I sent that” way*
a dead scene kid is trying to contact me through captcha
5 out of 5 homosexuals are gay
drake got me thinkin bout my ex and i dont even have an ex
there needs to be a cooking show in which tv chefs go into student flats or houses and have to cook a full 3 course meal only using ingredients and equipment they can find in the kitchen
They do have a saucepan, but someone’s eating cereal out of it.
I hate shirtless white boys who think they’re doing humanity a favor if they call a girl beautiful go get high off your axe deodorant spray
WHAT WOULD POSSES YOU TO LEAVE GOOGLE FOR BING
"Did you mean: Congratulations TRAITOR!" that’s fucking priceless.